Victim or Vulnerable?

I am new to this blogging business, so the first three blogs were actually articles I had written for local magazines and a newspaper.  So now it’s time to post another blog, and all I can do is ask myself, “Now what?”

Well, I am fortunate enough to have a wise friend who knows that I often use OH Cards as a means of accessing the subconscious mind in order to work through problematic issues.  She encouraged me to use these cards as inspiration for my blogs.  I am following up on her suggestion with this blog.

These OH Cards consist of two decks of 88 cards each.  One deck is of paintings, and the other is a deck of words.

The way I use these cards is to randomly draw a card from each deck, and then place them together with the word card framing the picture card.  I then explore the meaning and relevance that these cards have to what is going on in my life.  I do this by allowing whatever comes to my mind, without censoring, and free associating from there, in hopes of gaining insight.

I will randomly pick two cards now and post the picture of them together so you can see what I am looking at as I write my thoughts that come to mind.

Hey!  What about me?

Hey! What about me?

My first response when I see the word ‘VICTIM’ is, “OH *&#^@%_*#!!!   (It never fails, I always seem to say “OH something or other” when I first see the cards I pick.  This time it was an expletive, and I have already disclosed that I won’t censor, so expletive it is.)  Now I am wondering why the word “victim” has reared its ugly head again in my life when I have worked so hard to eliminate any such feelings.  Surely I haven’t regressed back to my “before therapy” era.  Ok, moving on………….

Yep, someone is definitely moving on down the road, and I don’t see a steering wheel, so someone else is driving this bus.  The person is waving goodbye to someone outside, but not even looking at the person, just looking straight ahead.  (Probably wondering where in the heck this bus is going.)  I wonder who these people are?  Oops!  I think they are both ME!!  Uh oh!  Part of me is moving on down the road, not even knowing where I’m being driven, while the other part of me is holding my hand up saying, “Hey, what about me?”

So now, what does this have to do with what’s going on in my life right now?  Hmmmmm.  Well, I seem to be pretty focused on getting my hypnotherapy training web site up and running.  I have two very professional, knowledgeable people building the site, putting together a marketing package (including coaching me on implementing it), and video recording  me while I demonstrate the techniques being taught.  Part of me is very excited about it, while another part of me feels rather overwhelmed with all that I have to do before it’s ready.  Another thought that comes to mind is that part of me is so very grateful for these people who are going above and beyond what I ever expected them to do.  They have put hours and hours and hours and hours of time into this project, and it is very close to being finished.  I am amazed at how much they know and how they have put together such a professional site.  Another part of me feels very vulnerable because I have put out a lot of money on video equipment, am devoting a lot of time on writing the texts for the classes, etc., and precisely because I don’t yet know how to work with the site, I wouldn’t be able to move on if anything happened to them.

BINGO!   I think I hit on it.  I have been teaching hypnotherapy for 15 years, and I have been wanting to offer classes on-line for more than 5 years.  Now the dream is very close to becoming  a reality.  I can see it.  I can taste it.  I can feel it.  And now comes the old “victim” tape that says, “Maybe you can’t do this.  Maybe this is just a pipe-dream.  Maybe it’s too good to be true.”  Granted, they are only whispers now (notice I’m not looking outside the window at the victim), but whispers can still feed the old “what about me?” tapes.

Guess I’ll invite the “what about me” part to get on the bus and come along for the ride of a lifetime, the ride that proves dreams come true when we stay focused on them!

For those of you who are interested in the OH cards, I got them from Eos Interactive Cards.  Website: Orderline 1-800-236-1683 (EST).  Email:

3 Responses to “Victim or Vulnerable?”

  1. Vanessa says:

    I think it’s fascinating to see how these cards work, but mostly how what starts as a potentially negative situation, can be turned to find one’s inner strength or the silver lining on the situation. Thanks for sharing! Enjoy the ride as your dreams come true! 😉

  2. Sharon says:

    Being aware that those “old victim whispers” are a precursor to self sabotage has been enlightening to me.

  3. Ben says:

    It’s very interesting reading another’s introspective stream of consciousness while all along thinking, “no, they should be thinking this!” While it might seem rude to admit to something like this, the pessimistic cloud has a silver lining: I realized about halfway through your blog that I was merely reinterpreting the same OH cards to reflect on MY situation and how they relate to ME.

    It’s is a very interesting example of exactly how effective these cards are at providing an external sort of ‘medium’ for subconscious expression, that I could take the same cards and draw a completely different meaning from them. Thank you for providing such an insightful examination that helped lead to my own personal revelation.

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